


Distant Skies

by StarlightSquadron



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst and Feels, But first things have to get complicated, Character Study, Emotional Trauma, Everything will get better over time, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Mentioned Finn, POV Kylo Ren, POV Rey, Pain and Loss, Reylo - Freeform, Song Lyrics, Starscapes and Sunrise, The First Order, The Force, The dark and the light, mentioned Snoke - Freeform, post-TFA, the resistance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-29
Updated: 2017-07-29
Packaged: 2018-12-08 14:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11648796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarlightSquadron/pseuds/StarlightSquadron
Summary: 'The pain was first. Then came the anger.It wrapped around his mind, a darkly blazing fury, creeping into every corner of his mind and being until it enveloped him; a shadow fire, ignited from within.'Reylo one-shot that takes place shortly after TFA.





	Distant Skies

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Note: This story can be read as a prequel chapter/prologue for my main fanfic, 'A Song to the Night', or just on its own -- however you like. :)
> 
> The title is from the song 'Starlight' by Starset; if you don't know them, I recommend you check out some of their music -- it's truly special and amazing. 
> 
> This one-shot was written as a birthday gift for my special friend and Sister in the Force, LadyLionhart, who is incredibly wonderful and talented -- go check out her masterpiece of a reylo fanfic, 'Ashes of Eden'! Thank you, my friend, for your endless support and love. <3

_At night the earth will rise_

_And I'll think of you each time I watch from distant skies_

_Whenever stars go down and galaxies ignite_

_I'll think of you each time they wash me in their light_

_And I'll fall in love with you again_

_I will find you_

_A thousand armies won't stop me, I'll break through_

_I'll soar the endless skies for only one sight of your starlight_

‘Starlight’, Starset

 

**KYLO**

 

_Pain._

First, the pain -- a hot, searing agony like droplets of fire licking across his face. It was soon followed by pain from the wound in his side. _Blaster wound_ , he distantly remembered. That was what it was. The other carved by a flaming blade. 

In the dark, Kylo Ren leaned back, letting out a sigh. 

Such a simple thing. He thought pain was easy to live with, compared with so many other things. Physical pain simplest of all -- a natural reaction of his body. 

He had spent many years getting used to that kind of pain. It was familiar, almost comforting in its simplicity. Two fresh wounds, creating their own, steady symphony which might -- if he were lucky -- even attempt to blur out the weight on his chest, the constant, shadowed maelstrom of his mind. If only for a short time.

The pain was first. Then came the anger.

It wrapped around his mind, a darkly blazing fury, creeping into every corner of his mind and being until it enveloped him; a shadow fire, ignited from within.

The anger was familiar as well -- another of his constant companions. 

And he had plenty of things to spark his anger. Most of all, his wrath was directed at himself. He wasn’t even sure of all the reasons. He knew it would all come back to him in time -- like blaster bolts, ricocheting off the walls of failure he’d built around himself. 

The little, individual reasons didn’t matter. He had failed.

_He had failed._

For that, he would punish himself -- he already did, he knew. Guilt, hitting him in the chest like the thrust of a blade. _Disappointment._

It was strange.

Those were part of the anger he felt. But there was also something more. Something he… couldn’t immediately distinguish or identify.

Then… her.

_Strange_ , he thought again, with something almost like curiosity -- for the briefest moment, it even caused the anger to abate.

It _was_ curious, in a way. An odd realization.

That _she_ would be the thing he remembered thirdly -- as something as fundamental as anger or pain…

The more logic thing to assume would have been his Master.

He imagined it clearly, vividly. It was the thought of his Master’s wrath that finally caused him to move.

It seemed even the smallest movement caused the wounds to burn. Absently, almost methodically, he accepted the message of that pain, studied it -- and found it inessential. He decided it didn’t matter.

Slowly, Kylo Ren sat up and took in his surroundings.

A medical center, it seemed. Abandoned, but for himself and a couple of med-droids buzzing about. He didn’t know this room, nor the metal couch covered by a thin mattress that he’d been lying on. _For how long?_ he absently wondered, then frowned in slight frustration when he couldn’t find the answer immediately by simply feeling.

His mouth and throat were dry. His head felt heavy and throbbing on his shoulders. The room was dimly lit, silent but for a faint, rhythmic beeping from various machines. He looked around, and saw nothing but steel and dimness; an artificial space, constructed only for practical purposes. 

Despite his body’s protests, he rose to his feet, wincing at the sharp sting of pain through his head, waving off the droids immediately trying to approach him.

With the Force as an extra sense, he reached out, a part of his consciousness momentarily leaving his body, his mind searching the surroundings for other sentient beings. Though he was the only one present in this room, he sensed the presence of others nearby -- an abundance of them. 

He also sensed enough to specify that they were not on some planet in particular but rather somewhere… _between._

He understood, then. He was on a Star Destroyer.

One by one, the memories came fully back to him; everything that had happened on the Starkiller Base before it was annihilated.

Everything that had happened…

Han Solo…

A shock, an electric jolt running through his body like lightning, _paralyzing…_

_No_. As quickly as the memories had come rushing back, just as quickly did he manage to slam up defenses, walls of adamant to shut and seal that small part of his mind away; to stop the flood of memories. 

He couldn’t let those memories weigh him down; couldn’t let them stop him. He could not linger.

He would punish himself for his weakness later.

He let his anger burn darkly, wrath coiling in his veins. It didn’t take long for that fire to catch and grow -- the ember was always there. Spark and burn.

And then, suddenly, the thought of _her_ returned.

The desert scavenger, who had proved herself to be so much more than that. Who had managed to surprise him, _startle_ him, even. But it _was_ unexpected. 

He thought of the two of them, as he’d attempted to wring information from her -- suddenly caught up in a fierce duel of minds. Completely untrained as she was, yet shockingly powerful and bright.

He thought of the way they’d fought in the dark forest, lightsabers blazing and clashing among snow-covered trees.

The knowledge of it hit him late. A stunning realization. _Acceptance._

She was the one who had caused these wounds on his body.

She had _defeated_ him.

His emotions were a confusing maelstrom, like they had been in that forest, only many times more powerful -- that strange _wonder_ he felt now mixing with the memory of it. 

Yes, there was wonder, along with so many other things. Fury. Shock. Disbelief.

_Regret._

_Rey._ This girl from Jakku had to be something truly extraordinary. 

And those memories he’d discovered in her mind…

He pressed a hand against the wound in his side, for the moment cherishing the physical pain. The simplicity.

He sensed this was something that was going to haunt him, one way or another.

xx

_You’re so lonely. So afraid to leave…_

His boots clanged against the hard, polished floor as he strode down the corridors of the _Finalizer_ , his cloak whispering in his wake.

_At night, desperate to sleep, you’d imagine an ocean…_

_Don’t be afraid, I feel it too._

_You -- you’re afraid…_

He tried to clear his mind, to concentrate, as stormtroopers and lower ranking officers kept hurrying out of his way, automatically wanting to make as much room for him as possible. 

To make way for the Master of the Knights of Ren.

Many of the new officers didn’t even attempt to hide their emotions; their reactions clearly visible on their faces -- whether it be coldness, fear, or something else. He almost snorted. 

At least they only saw the mask. He thought they would probably gawk more if they could see the new scar slashing across his face. 

The medical droids had patched it together the best they could. Though, only a week old, it still looked like an almost fresh wound. 

A week. That was for how long he’d been gone -- mostly due to the after-effects of bacta treatment. Many things could happen over the span of a week. 

His Master…

“Sir.”

Kylo Ren halted and turned toward the sound of the voice. The person speaking was a woman presumably in her mid-thirties, and an admiral, judging by her insignia.

“Yes, Admiral?” he inquired. If his voice sounded different from lack of use, the modulator in his mask didn’t reveal it.

“Sir, I have been in command of this cruiser for the past week,” the officer said. “We were informed that once you were… fully operational, you would be taking over command of the _Finalizer_. We were to head whatever course you decided. Our only planetary approach so far has been on Cato Neimoidia to restock our supplies. We are currently in deep space in the Expansion Region, the Ghost Nebula being our nearest sector.”

_Interesting_ , he thought, remaining silent as he considered this new string of information.

To wait, impassively, for him to return to consciousness -- to leave him in command of the _Finalizer…_

Snoke had likely had this all planned out from the start. Oh, yes -- his Master knew how to best control his subjects into achieving what he wanted.

And it wasn't like he had much of a choice. He smiled grimly, a bitter grimace. He knew exactly where they were going.

xx

He stood on the command bridge, a lonely figure, gazing out at the starscape beyond.

_We are not done yet._

_You’re a monster._

_You need a teacher…_

An abundance of thoughts and drastic decisions in the midst of the fury. But he knew it had been well reasoned -- with the powers she possessed, the immediate control she had, that _girl_ could be turned into something… truly extraordinary. Even though _she_ had defeated _him_ in that forest…

Well, he thought with a grim smile. He’d rarely been able to resist a challenge…

He knew his Master would agree. And once he arrived -- once he got to speak to the Leader… A new chance, he thought. The girl might very well be that exactly. 

A new chance for him to prove himself. 

Oh, the punishment would come as well. But he had long since learned how to be taught by his own failures; he would rise above it, use it to make himself stronger… this was no different. 

_Rey_ , a faint voice whispered in his mind. _Her name is Rey._

He shook off that invisible voice, willing his mind silent. To be focused.

This was all he would allow himself to think of now. 

One must take what little control remained and use it for one’s advantage. It helped, concentrating about those simpler things.

That way, most of the other voices in his mind could be silenced.

That way, he could now lead himself to believe there was only _one way._

_Snoke is using you for your powers…_

_Come home._

_The face of my son…_

One way.

_It’s too late._

_You’re a monster._

Too late.

The shock would come, he realized absently, with something like assent. Detachment. Some of it had already come and gone; the ripple, the fury, the pain.

The was no point in denying it to himself. Something vaster would come later, of greater impact and importance. A greater ripple; a fury and a pain that could leave marks…

And eventually might come something far more dangerous: the doubt.

Eventually.

But not yet.

 

______________________________________

 

_And we were bold_

_Over the world_

_We were flying through the satellites_

_We had ahold_

_Of the lightning strikes_

_When we should have been afraid of heights_

_And I was trying just to get you_

_And now I'm dying to forget you_

_‘Cause I knew I couldn't catch you_

_So I left the sky, and I fell behind_

‘Ricochet’, Starset

 

**REY**

 

In a starsystem far away, on the mystical planet Ahch-to, Rey jolted awake, gasping for breath.

_Pain_. A ghosting whisper of it -- as if it didn’t belong to her specifically, but rather someone else…

Slowly, she felt her breathing calm down as the realization hit her.

Another dream. This she realized, as she slowly freed herself from the heavy fogs of sleep clouding her mind and her reality; absently taking in the familiar surroundings -- the interiors of the hut’s single room filled with their sparse belongings, the arched ceiling and the walls of grey stone. She noticed that Luke’s bed was abandoned -- the Jedi Master must have gone out earlier.

Her dream… there had been a boy in it, she suddenly remembered. He had been saying something, a single word -- he’d been calling a name…

But that was all she could recall. Rey shook her head, frowning slightly in exasperation. Many of her dreams had been like this lately, the details blurring, fading and vanishing like morning dew in the sun the moment she woke; scattered and reshaped like the calm surface of a lake, disrupted by a sudden gust of wind.

Despite everything, she couldn’t help but smile. She’d so automatically dreamed the image of that lake -- _that_ lake no less, and not simply _a_ lake. Even though she had yet to see such a place for herself, witness it with her own eyes. As she had yet to see and experience so many places of her dreams. 

One day. And that day might be closer in the near future than she yet dared to imagine.

Oh, Rey dreamed as she’d always done. She hoped. The only true difference was that instead of feeling only like a dream, a distant hope, it now felt more like a promise. 

She looked toward the open doorway, squinting against the bright light already shining through the entrance. It was the earliest light of dawn. Feeling wholly awake, she rose from her sleeping place and went outside.

xx

One thing Rey had discovered, to her surprise: she loved the sea. 

Truly, she would have thought that the ocean itself -- water, an endless amount of it, stretching to the far horizon beyond her view, more water than she had ever seen in her life -- would be overwhelming, terrifying, even. 

It _was_ overwhelming. It was different, and odd, and new, but it didn’t frighten her in its strangeness. Rather, she found it fascinating. She found that she could spend hours, standing at the edge of the cliff, looking out as far as she could over the bright surface of the ocean. Sometimes, she would meditate as Luke had taught her -- to find calm within herself.

After all, Rey thought, the sea didn’t seem as new and strange to her as it maybe ought to.

She reached the edge of the cliff at just the right moment.

Far out over the sea, the sun rose above the horizon, blurring the line between sky and ocean, painting the world in soft colours from one moment to another. 

Sunrise.

Sometimes, Rey thought as she was instantly filled with joy and awe, only a word was required to describe a feeling.

xx

She began to descend down the many steps leading from the cliffs, making her way down toward the sea the same way she had come when she arrived, about a week ago.

So little time ago -- yet it already felt like she could have been here for months.

But then, it felt like almost everything in her life had changed so quickly, from one moment to the other.

And it wasn’t just the landscape; or even the fact that she was _here_ , on a planet in a wholly different starsystem that seemed almost impossibly far away.

_Everything_ was new. Overwhelming. _Unbelievable_. She was here, on Ahch-to, being taught in the ways of the Force by Luke Skywalker. 

Whom so many ruthless people had been searching for, fighting to gain access to the only map that would lead to him. The fact alone that _they_ had succeeded when no one else had; that they had discovered the location of the last known Jedi, and that when Rey had finally arrived here, he had agreed to teach her.

She felt full of a new kind of energy, blazing and bright, as though she could truly feel the Force, running like blood through her veins. Above it all, she felt full of _hope_. It was a feeling powerful enough to banish the shadows. 

It hadn’t all been simple. None of it had been even close to easy. But despite everything that had happened, despite all there surely was to come, Rey felt happy.

Although one shadow did remain…

She continued further down, walking past other old stone constructions; buildings that Luke had told her had served as home for Jedi and pilgrims over the time, coming to visit the ancient temple.

Eventually, she reached the flat rock formation where the _Millennium Falcon_ stood, close to the shore and the sea. She knew Chewie liked to check on the freighter often, making sure all the ship’s systems were still fully functional, for the day when they would return -- back to the Resistance, and all the people she’d left behind. This was something she liked to do herself as well -- although nothing was wrong with the freighter, going over and checking the different systems in Han Solo’s old ship gave her a feeling of calm. 

She quickly made her round through the Corellian freighter, meeting R2-D2 on her way -- as she’d predicted (and as the astromech droid promptly assured her before she could even ask), nothing was wrong or amiss.

Nevertheless, she remained inside the ship for a short time, lingering in the cramped space of the cockpit. There she stood for a moment, watching the waves of the sea through the window, absently tapping her fingers on the consoles, listening to the vague beeping sounds of R2 talking to himself.

Going through the _Falcon’s_ systems had made her think of something. She had always been good at finding the little flaws in things, at fixing things -- during her scavenger days on Jakku, it had been this skill that had kept her alive over the years.

She knew that most of the times, the key to discovering something, to finding out the truth, would materialize if only one had the patience to search thoroughly, to look deeply. 

Rey knew she didn’t have much experience; but what if the same things mattered when it came to the secrets of her own mind? Things that were, for some reason or another, hidden even from her.

Perhaps waiting for her to discover them.

And she sensed that these dreams, when they kept coming back to her, they had to be important, somehow. Though for some reason, they always faded away from her memory when she woke up.

Luke had taught her how to meditate as part of her training, to find focus and calm. But she knew it could also work to make her look deeper within herself, to search her own mind.

Suddenly, she was filled with a sense of resoluteness. She would find her lost dreams. 

xx

She stood on the beach, the wind and the sound of waves crashing against the shore her only company.

She stood silently, arms slightly raised on either side of her body, as if she were a bird preparing to leave the ground and fly away.

She closed her eyes, letting everything else fade.

Everything about the Force was still new to her; even the knowledge that it truly existed out of myths and legends. 

Yet, somehow, she knew she could succeed. Somehow, she thought, none of the things Luke had taught her about in the past days seemed as… _distant_ as they perhaps should. As would have been natural to assume. 

Rey knew she could do this. It wasn’t the first time, after all… Although that first time, it had been another person’s thoughts and memories, another person looking into her mind…

She breathed slowly, letting all unnecessary thoughts and speculations drift away -- she did not need them. As she tried to return her mind to the state it must have been in while she was having that dream. As she tried to remember.

Instead, buried in her memories, she found something much darker.

_Nightmares._ The dark dreams that had haunted her since Starkiller Base.

Scenes. Sometimes seen in flashes and glimpses, sometimes bright and clear, the memory so vivid it took her long to reassure herself it was only a dream. 

And here was the shadow; hidden away in daylight, always promising its inevitable return at nightfall.

Han Solo’s death. Her friend in the snow, wounded.

The fight in the darkening forest. Two persons standing on a bridge stretching across an infinite abyss. One person sitting across from her, watching her as she returned to consciousness. 

A mask, falling away to reveal a face -- a human face, young and unmarred, framed by raven hair.

_Him._ It always came back to him.

The memories overwhelmed her now as they returned in a flood, rushing over her like waves crashing against the shore. It took away her focus and concentration, shattering her calm with a single blow; casting shadows in her light.

Rey gasped, her hand pressed against her chest, pure, simple will preventing her from collapsing to her knees.

_Nightmares._ Of darkness, death and pain.

Sometimes, only a word was required to describe a feeling.

_Luke._ Maybe she could talk to Luke about it. Maybe her new master would understand…

Something had prevented her from asking him, from telling him about the dreams until now. As she thought about it now, it struck her as strange that she hadn’t talked to him about it earlier. He was, after all, the only other person on this planet who would know about such things.

Yes -- Luke would know what it was; perhaps even what she should do, she thought. She would talk to him later.

Even as she made that decision, it was as though the rushing of memories intensified -- as though by searching for those lost dreams, she had finally awoken the monster, the nightmares coming to her now during day as well. 

Rey gasped, trying to banish them, but the memories and darkness were a well, and she had already gone too far down towards the bottom.

She remembered _anger_. The feeling of balancing on the edge, a gaping abyss yawning open on either side, where one bad step could cause her to fall.

Her own anger. Her own darkness.

A voice, whispering inside her mind -- a stranger’s voice. _Urging_ her to take that extra step. To fall.

Oh, she remembered. It all came back to her in those nightmares -- and again, now.

She remembered. She just didn’t know what to do about it.

_Something is changed now,_ a voice whispered within her. 

All she knew was that everything felt vivid, new, intensified.

_He is awake._

_Who?_ she wondered, for a moment bewildered.

Though, somehow, she thought she knew the answer.

Once again, she was back in that interrogation chamber. And she saw _him_ , standing before her, that gaze of his suddenly intensified as well, burning through her as his mouth shaped into something almost like a smile --

A sudden, sharp pain coursed through her head. With a feeling like something within her had suddenly snapped in two, she collapsed to her knees on the rocky shore.

She gasped for breath, her body trembling all over as the wind howled in her ears, playing with strands of her hair.

“Rey?”

It was Luke’s voice. She slowly got to her feet, watching her master as he walked across the beach towards her.

The Jedi Master watched her silently, a look of concern in those bright blue eyes. 

“Is something bothering you, Rey?” he asked calmly.

She thought about how welcoming he had been this past week, how unexpectedly kind, despite his years of almost solitude. Despite all the sorrow and pain. But then, maybe she wondered mostly because she had known so few kind people during her life. Most of the ones she knew, she had met very recently. 

“I… Luke, I --“ She wanted to tell him. About the nightmares. About all the memories that haunted her; about the darkness. Maybe he already knew, she thought; had somehow already sensed what was truly bothering her. 

Perhaps most of the words she wished to speak but couldn’t were, in fact, abundant. He simply looked at her, his expression hiding all the things undoubtedly going through his mind; all the people he had taught, the countless years of light and darkness, victory and loss; the unavoidable fear and doubt.

“I always wish for more time,” Luke said. “Somehow, there is never enough time. But we must find a way to succeed, nevertheless. We always have.”

Her master sighed, and turned his gaze towards the sea and the horizon.

“ _Always in motion_ ,” he said, quietly, for himself. “Unfortunately, I don’t believe we can remain here for much longer… this much is certain. Eventually we must all return.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Any comments or other feedback is appreciated, greatly. <3
> 
> May the Force be with you!


End file.
